ALTERNATIVE BBC
a radio play by nick garrett
Arthur Toomey is a pub singer and comedian in his middle-fifties who returns, on Christmas Eve, to Tooting in South London to perform a gig with his Jamaican friend Thick Mick. Arthur is also a small-time drug peddler and, shortly after bumping into an old acquaintance, Cod's Eyes, reveals he knows that a certain world famous terrorist is living up the road in Tooting Bec. From the minute Arthur and Mick begin their barnstorming version 'I Wanna Be Like You' from The Jungle Book, events become both sinister and comic... Click below for each scene. Play runs a total of seventeen minutes. It contains strong language. More information about the production can be found here.
2) "...My missis is having her genital warts frozen off..."
4) The Gig I: I'm the King Of the Swingers
5) The Gig Part II: My Way and Osama Calls
6) I Don't Want To Go To Tooting.
8) "...the chimes at midnight."
9) "He was never right after that can of mung beans hit him"